Friday, July 17, 2015

On transforming, struggling, and putting things to rest.

On transforming, struggling, and putting things to rest. 

Because living a Soul-full, deliberate, handmade life isn't always easy, especially when we think our visions will fall flat or maybe some did, and we can't always see the bigger, deeper, wider transformation occurring right. under. our. nose. Here is a little story (a true story) about a caterpillar who came into my life recently. As I witnessed him wrestling with transformation, I saw / felt some very real things I needed to. . .around what it can feel like to Transform or birth any new project into the world --->


A few months ago, a caterpillar followed me home. I left the windows open in the car hoping he’d find his way to a new tree or bush, but the next morning he was hanging on the interior roof. Assuming he latched onto this vehicle for a reason, I did some research and set up a little house so he could create his chrysalis and transform safely. 

He immediately caterpillar-ed around, exploring his new space which was fully equipped with a variety of greenery, branches, and some crystals to climb on.  He had a bite to eat and on the second day began the arduous journey of forming his chrysalis. It was an exciting moment, but I could tell it was taking all he had to prepare for such giant transformation. I felt honored to witness his struggle, his giant pauses between movements, and can't help but see the reflection in my own journey. 


On the third or fourth day I noticed he had moved away from the very loose and rough outline of a cocoon he had so painstakingly formed and was resting underneath the purple amethyst which was far beneath on the ground. It was a sad moment, because my initial fears and self-judgements of 'I surely fucked everything up somehow' quickly passed as I was holding in my hands a very real part of the very real process of what it takes to completely transform from one state to another. It spoke of death in a whole new sense to me. It hit home, hard, as I've been through the arduous journey of completely melting inside my own little cocoon in order to transform with my body, my cells, my intuition, and personal history as my ultimate guide and vehicle. 


Bless his new vision. 
(above = a monarch who had been on his own arduous journey, landed and latched onto me in his final hours, last year, where i built him a similar little home to rest. . . .)


After a bit of research, I found not all caterpillars complete their process of transformation. This little guy was lovingly buried and thanked for being a Messenger. 

Here is a little more on what I gleaned from him:: 

This little caterpillar soul came along to tell, to show, to help put to rest all the various transformations or ideas or projects that didn’t quite reach their full potential, or what was thought to be their full potential. He left a big impression here, with such powerful reminders on the process of continual awakening. How it really requires putting to rest all those old stories and ideas about our former attempts to transform, and what that transformation will look like in the end. I believe he had a bigger vision than just becoming a moth, or butterfly, and perhaps one of his visions is here in this story, in this living example of burying what is no longer alive for you — so you can move freely into what IS. 


Bless his / my / your new vision. 


One last update:: I am so excited and honored to be one of 12 Guides in this current round of Inner Alchemy Circle :: Fire Coven held by the ever power-full alchemist extraordinaire who inspires me immensely with her Unabashed Living and Writings, Mindy Tsonas. I conjured up the word, and energy of a Tempest in my card / piece -- a passionate, powerful storm that you can literally harness and BE as you move through your life clearing the path and creating BIG momentous change. To be the Tempest. To be the Change. 

Blaze on. 

xo

Friday, July 10, 2015

Radical Train of Truth. Coming Through.

Radical Train 
Of Truth
Get on
Get off

An underlying theme keeps rolling through, boiling down, and rising up in every single area of my life — the simple line -- the truth will set you free. Untangling from all the lies. The spells. The poison apples. I’ve had to put down a lot along the way, as I continue picking up on these tiny little over-arching threads of my existence — because I grew up around so many lies — big lies, tiny lies, massive lies, mixed with fractions of truth and shoved into the closet.

 I won’t hash over these lies, but I will share one key way I overcame them — simply by knowing my self. It sounds so easy, right, but it really boils down to shedding all the personal history that ties you up in believing anything but your own true longings and callings. Knowing your deep self -- deep enough to rake up all the other surface things. Taking out the trash, burning down the house (of lies).

 Knowing that you mean well. That all of your intentions are pure. That if you get a lump in your throat and “sing the words wrong” — you are safe within a world who knows you, who loves you, and has no need to forgive you. I had spent many moons in this world tip-toeing around my truth, my existence, knowing I had these big giant red balloons inside just waiting to burst — while simultaneously riding alongside the very real fears of stumbling and tumbling and being incredibly lost in translation as I project my little light hard, over and through and beyond the tangled up forrest of my personal history.

Why am I here, now, shedding this on screen? Because I hope it helps someone out there who's been hiding, holding back, living in little white lies, little sparkly niceties, tip-toeing like some refugee, or through years of self-exploration and therapy to discover you’ve been glossing over the real stream of things. The truth around whatever IT is -- really will set you free.

 I am a woman who has trekked across many-a-mile with sweat pouring from my breast and never-ever-missed-a-beat. I absorb every little detail, every little whisp in the wind, every little crackle in the night, and find myself reflecting in every-creature, in every-one, in every-living-thing. I am a woman who is finally. calling. herself. such.

 I have walked through blazing suns with head scarves, my notebook and inner compasses in my gut to integrate my own shadows and lies, and I wouldn’t change a bead or beat. I wouldn’t dare question or linger or wallow any longer, because I am incredibly honest with my self, and the time to hesitate on anything I believe deeply, know deeply, sense deeply, is through. I have always, always known. And this. is. the. skin. my. soul. chose. 


To know yourself as you endless become something new, can be a frightening, confusing place, but yes, you can. . . You can pioneer the continual act of shedding your personal history, those little spells or lies, and the dark parts of yourself others might try to draw back out or cling onto, not-so-innocently, as you step out boldly with bells on your hems, singing imperfectly, dancing ridiculously, riding the glorious train that endlessly arrives. . . to deliver you. 

Ride on. 


Monday, August 18, 2014

Around here lately + Printmaking Unleashed GIVEAWAY


Hi friends! 

I have some serious catching up to do in blog-landia. So many things to update and share. . . My LifeBook lesson {Make*Shift Magic} went live earlier this month which has been thrilling to experience as the student pages / interpretations continue to trickle in. I am gearing up for my next journey :: packing up my circus and heading back to my beloved Sanford studio / shop, my beloved bicycle (Jolla! more on her soon). I honestly couldn't be happier with all we've manifested for our lives these past 5 - 10 years, and the continuous practice of holding the joy, clearing space, doing my work, and GettingOutOfMyOwnWay <--- what it all boils down to.

Without further ado: the fabulous and funky Traci Bautista has birthed a new book :: PRINTMAKING UNLEASHED. I am thrilled to be a part of the book-launch-love :: sharing my experience with her book over on her blog today :: and some projects. (((I am also hosting a GIVEAWAY of her book right here)))  Leave a comment below with your favorite printmaking technique // what you'd like to learn. . . and for bonus entries >> share this giveaway on IG / FB / etc!



Printmaking Unleashed inspiration from carissa paige on Vimeo.


Buy a glorious copy of Printmaking Unleashed on Amazon
Buy an extra glorious signed copy of Printmaking Unleashed.




Tuesday, February 25, 2014

UNMISTAKABLE YES (a big ol' update)




Hello my friends!

I hope your year is off to a great start. I know I've been a bit quiescent here for quite some time. There is sooooo much I have to share with you. Instagram and FB have been convenient means of daily sharing, but I'd really like to dig in deep / re-connect with this space.

Where to begin?



Back in September of 2013 I rode a very inspired whim and put together all of my blog posts and artwork from 2009 - 2013 into a luscious and gorgeous book entitled,

"Hip on Dreams and Oceans:
Navigating the Sea: my Personal Log and Journey." 

I woke with a jolt. A sudden fear pounding in my chest: I don't want to lose track of my journey here, all I had poured out, all I had found. Because when I think about it, this process of blogging has completely changed my life. I made one single copy -- just for me. A key piece of EVIDENCE to honor, to hold in my hands, to snuggle belonging-ly between other writer's words on my shelf. My lifelong dreams of book-making suddenly made real. And I realized the importance of doing it just for me. . . this oxygen mask of-sorts.



 I ended up encountering this man, who passionately insisted his daughter needed it. I swear he is some sort of earth angel. I told him it needed editing, and was expensive to produce. He insisted, YOU DON'T NEED TO EDIT THIS. MAKE MORE. And paid me $100.



 I made myself a promise when this book first arrived, one week before my Big Colorado Adventure: my next book will be even more utterly raw and vulnerable. There is a certain freedom I feel in my private journals, but how much more freeing it will be to step out and share those feelings and experiences. The truth and nothing but the truth, so help me God. At the heart of everything, my biggest passion of all is confessional art and writing. Deep, true, raw expressive. These are the stories I most need to feel and LIVE.
-quote by Oscar Wilde


Honesty is fertile ground.

I come from a long line of women who hid their truths, crossed their legs like a lady, and never dared question any of it. Women with extreme anxiety, self-destruction, addiction, borderline this-or-that. Women who take their own lives, in their own beds. I have faced my own dragons and I can say with unmistakable yes -- I came here to break the chain. To die in my own way ever single day -- only to be reborn over and over. To push forward with the cosmic swirl of teachers who came before. To live in the land of UNMISTAKABLE YES and leave this world a better place than I found it.


I believe we're all connected. Mirrors from the same cloth. This ride is incredibly short and precious -- the best spirits to be surrounded with are those who support your highest vision.



Clearing the space. On and on it goes.

Flash back to August of 2013: I started doing Acupuncture. I heard this huge, powerful, unmistakable voice tell me I needed to clear my body, my spirit, my pathways. The earth shook my friends, and I found some amazingly old pools of grief and sorrow resting in places I would never presume. A story for another time, but I just wanted to share -- I have made huge strides in space clearing. I put down a lot of things and just want to say with unmistakable YES -- it was worth it, from the other side, ANYTHING IS POSSIBLE. Keep going.


I am staring outside a big window. . . watching life. . . I have a lot more to share, but the Wild Winds are calling. A lot more work to do. . . a lot more to reveal.



My word of the year is REVEALING.




-------------------------------------------------
Next update -- I will share some bold moves + my NEW STUDIO & HOME


Monday, December 9, 2013

((UPdate: Winner Chosen)) SOUL FOOD: Inner-View & Give-a-Way

And you, 
A windrose, a compass
My direction, my description of the world. 

I have SO MUCH to catch up on and share with you here. The past 3 weeks have whirled by like a magic carpet ride and then I suddenly smacked down with a nasty cold and cough. So here I am on the mend. 

SOUL FOOD: I'm feeling a bit vulnerable, but embracing it as I share this video glimpse of myself answering a handful of questions given to all the creative cooks on this SOUL FOOD Adventure. Everything kicks off December 30th and then runs all the way through December 2014! If you have yet to hear the buzz, there are 39 Creative Heads in the Kitchen serving up a delicious mix of media ---> check out all the juicy details right here. AND I'm also giving away a free spot. . . see below!

Without further ado:


Carissa Paige SOUL FOOD inner-view from carissa paige on Vimeo.

For a chance to win a spot ---> leave a comment below with YOUR FAVORITE SOUL FOOD & I will announce winners next week!



The Magical Digital Hat has chosen --->

Congrats to Gwyn! Please email me at carissapaigeART@gmail.com to claim your seat :) I wish I could give out more spaces... Each & every morsel of your Soul Food answers were delicious to read about. Thank you so much for participating / sharing.

Big Love & Blessings to you & yours this holiday / new year season! 

xo, C